ROOTS: NAMES, DESCENT, ACCENT

ROOTS: NAMES, DESCENT, ACCENT
(This post is MY personal opinion, I don't care whether or not I will offend anyone)

Of Names...
Was mass-chit-chatting with my friends over MSN when we suddenly brought up an old (secondary school) friend - "Chan Wei Ling".

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Below is a re-enactment of the conversation (as far as I can recall):

CM: Hey is it true that Chan Wei Ling is a mother already?
Me: SERIOUSLY? (Was surprised she didn't invite us old friends to her wedding dinner)
CM: You can check out her profile on Friendster...
Me: Err... I dun have her on my friendster... paiseh...
CM: joleen jorelle... something like that...
Me: Jorewle Chan (I was very confident, cuz that was what she told me personally some many years back that she had changed her name from "Joyce" to "Jorewle"). At least I had her hp number on my phonebook (phew)...

**Proceeds to search for "Jorewle Chan" on friendster...
Friendster: "Your search returned zero results".

Me: (=__=)
**Browse CM's profile, scrolls through her friends, spots a few chio-bus and right-click the "open in new tab", proceeds to scroll through her friends... and found: "joleen jorelle"...

Me: (SO~~ She's really married... and I reckon those baby pictures there should be her baby...)

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It irks me like fingernails scratching across chalkboard when an Asian of CHINESE descent held very long English names. More specifically, MIDDLE names.

So, if I were to address her full name the English way (First-Middle-Last name), the "Joyce Chan Wei Ling" I once knew, is now known better as "Joleen Jorelle Wei Ling Chan". That's a freakingly long name.

So, what was the purpose of having an English / Christian name? Reasons abound, but as far as I am concerned, us Chinese picked up an English name because those damn Ang Mohs can't pronounce our names correctly! At least, this is so for my Chinese name, and even till now, 8 out of 10 people can't pronounce my name accurately while only a few close friends spelt it correctly. (You people out there can read "Lee Kuan Yew" so easily and yet couldn't pronounce "Q"?)

Or perhaps it is out of convenience that having an English / Christian name makes it easier for people to remember us? Or its because your parents named you so since birth, and there is nothing you could do about it? So shall it be. However, what THEN, is the purpose of having a MIDDLE name for?!!

First person I came across with a middle name was my ex-colleague named "Terence Piercey Lai (something) (something)", who is GAY, so I wasn't that surprised. (And he was on the newspapers too, over Singapore Idol - outrageous dressing).

Then my brother tried picking up a middle name called "Oliver" some many years back. And now I have this friend who used to be called Joyce and now called "Joleen Jorelle". Please, make up your mind.

At the very least, I chose "Kelvin" when I was little, but came to realised there are like 5 other Kelvins in the same class... so my name evolved a little... but close friends calls me "Q", which I have growth used to...

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Back to the MSN window:
Me: So I guess in order to sound more classy, I should pick up a middle name too! How's Kenneth ALEXANDRIOS Yong" sound to you?
SJ: That is too hard to remember...
CM: What about Honda? "Honda TOYOTA Hongda Ker"?
Me: "ACCORD" sounds good... "Honda ACCORD Hongda Ker"~!
Honda: Why did I get pulled in for?!
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Of Descent...
This topic is something I couldn't quite get it... so please, could some friends enlighten me a bit?

I have seen many people claiming: "Oh, I am like 50% Japanese, 13% English, 12% Spanish, 15% Portugese, and 10% Chinese...". It irritates the hell outta me; what are you, a bastard?

Please, you only have a Father and a Mother - so the maximum you can divide your enthicity out is 50% this, and 50% that. However, you are only of ONE enthicity, and more often than not, people follow their father's enthicity. So I don't care whether your mum's African, or Cuban, or Spanish, but as long as your father's an English, you ARE an English. Period.

I don't give a damn about your grandparents' enthicity or your grandparents-in-laws' enthicity, nor even your great grandparents' descent. They DON'T count.


Of Accent...
Between American, European, and Australian English Accent, I personally have a preference for the European English Accent. Followed by the Aussie version; think Steve Irwin. Hence I like Angelina Jolie for her accent (not the lips) and for her good English.

And unless you have spent most of your life living in any of the above mentioned region and you sounded like them naturally, you will be on my "irritating" list for a long time... , worse still, you fake your accent.

Singaporeans CAN speak proper English when the occasion arise for it, just dun fake any accent and speak naturally. Accent and proper English are two different matter.

Worse, Chinese who couldn't speak Chinese/ Mandarin, I rate you 2nd class humans. Yes, I have came across Chinese who couldn't read Chinese, and the only Chinese words they could write is perhaps only their names. These people have forsaken their roots. Shame on you.